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Taking Applications

Friday, some insurance people came to work.  Like all insurance people they started asking 1,000,000 personal questions.  I was feeling feisty Friday so I thought I'd have some fun.  The conversation went something like this:

Guy:  Ms. McWayne are you married?
Me:  No, and Mrs. McWayne was my grandmother.
Guy:  Do you have any children?
Me:  I have 18 down in my classroom.  I get to spend all day with them and send them home to their moms that have to cook for them, make sure they take a bath and put them to bed.  I have no children of my home and I'm perfectly content to keep it that way.
Guy:  (Nervous Laugh)  Do you ever plan to have children?
Me:  Well, first I have to find a man to put a ring on this finger here, and then we can discuss children.  But, I'm a little hard to handle and no one has been up to the challenge yet, so we may never discuss children.  I am, however, always looking for the man, so you can send one my way if you know any.

Upon reflecting back to this conversation, two things have come to my attention.  1. Maybe I should just be polite and short with my answers and 2.  I was correct, I am hard to handle.  So, in true Megan fashion, I have decided to post a blog with a list.  These are the things one must be able to handle when taking on the challenge of dating me.

1.  I have a sarcastic and odd sense of humor.  I enjoy laughing.  I laugh a lot and I laugh loud.  A lot of times I laugh at inappropriate times.
2.  I shop, a lot.  I know I have a problem, therefore I do not need someone to point it out.
3.  I have a lot of shoes, so I will need someone that will be willing to build me a big closet, like Big does for Carrie in Sex and The City.
4.  I love to sing.  I sing with the radio, I sing in Wal-Mart, I sing sometimes when there is no music.  I can't sing.  I am aware of this, too.
5.  I like to go out and have fun.  I need you to want to do the same thing.
6.  PDA drives me crazy, however hand holding is acceptable.
7.  Karaoke skills are a must.
8.  I would prefer someone with a sense of style.  I mean, just because I can dress myself doesn't mean I want to dress you.
9.  I like to watch and play tennis.
10.  I feel it is acceptable to listen to Christmas music anytime I want.
11.  My first love will always be Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys, and I am not certain that anyone will hold a candle to him.
12.  I enjoy taking pictures and lots of them.
13.  I like to go to musicals and would like a man to accompany me.
14.  I like my dog, I probably will not like yours.
15.  My car is my baby, no, you can't drive it.
16.  I am messy.
17.  Marilyn Monroe put it best "I am selfish, impatient, insecure.  I make mistakes.  I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at me best.

There you have it folks.  The list of my "hard to handle" traits.  I don't think it's too much to ask for someone to be willing to look passed these qualities.

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