Friday, March 29, 2013

Why I Wanted To Lose Weight

I posted in January, when I decided to do this whole lifestyle change on why I did.  You can look at the here. 
But I feel like I need to explain myself better.

I have been overweight most of my life and I have not liked my body or myself for a very long time.  Being the fat girl I always felt like I had to try harder to fit in.  That was exhausting.  I felt since I couldn't be the skinniest or prettiest girl in the room I would be the funniest, loudest and have the best shoes.  I think because I was loud, funny, well dressed, bubbly, and talkative people assumed I was happy.  That was the complete opposite.

I have gone through phases where I have dieted and exercised since I was in high school.  During this time I may have lost 5-20 pounds but nothing ever changed.  I would still do what I want and eat what I want and if i missed the gym a couple of days in a row, who cared.

At the the beginning of this year I was at my lowest point in the self-esteem department.  When Lindsey asked me to go to the gym I decided to go with her, for whatever reason I don't really know.  After going two days with her, I joined the gym myself.  After joining the gym I started zumba again, I joined a running clinic and began eating correctly.  I have noticed that with each day, each accomplishment my self esteem started getting better.  I have lost 2 dress size and 31 pounds.

Weigh loss is more than just a physical journey, way more.  It is more mental than anything.  There are so many obstacles that you have to overcome, and most of those obstacles are in your mind.  There are days when I don't want to go the gym.  There are days when I don't do to anything.  There are days when I just want to set and eat some ice cream and French fries (actually that's most days).  But, I have to remember that anything worthwhile is not going to be easy.  I have to keep on, keeping on.   No matter how hard it is, no matter how much I don't want to give up, no matter how bad it hurts.

I am not losing weight, I'm getting rid of it--I don't want to find it again.  I am not losing weight, I am gaining confidence.  I am not losing weight I am becoming healthier.

Same outfit, 30 pounds difference.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Online Shopping Addicts Anonymous (My Story and Where You Need To Shop)

Hi.  I'm Megan and I have an online shopping addiction.  I have been struggling with online shopping for years now.  I was clean for a few months, but I have fallen back into the nasty web of online shopping again!

Whew, that felt good to get that out. 

I started shopping online with eBay several years ago (speaking of eBay, I need to check to see if I won that item I was bidding on).  I didn't go out of control, after all I was a college kid with a part-time job.  I bought some movies, some Elvis items and a phone case or two.  Then I learned the convenience of shopping online.  I could order sizes that weren't in the store and have them delivered to my door. I still didn't go crazy--that came in the summer of 2012.

Like everybody else in the world, I love a good bargain.  I also love Good Morning America.  This got me in large trouble, because once a week the did a segment titled "Deals and Steals".  You better believe this girl was Dealing and Stealing away.  I ordered one, maybe two items EVERY WEEK.  I'm telling you it was like Christmas at my house.  I got necklaces, bracelets, earrings, purses, tote bags, nail polish, and scarves all at a fraction of the price.  Then a friend turned me on to Zulily which was like Deals and Steals everyday.  I ordered more earrings, pants, tops, dresses, books, and so on.  Another friend then directed me to Very Jane, which again is like Deals and Steals everyday.  Thank you friends for fueling the fire.

Once school started back my online addiction died down, as I was not home daily to watch GMA, and who has time to check Zulily and Very Jane at school (although I do find time to check them daily at home).  That is, until recently.

As you all well know I stalk follow two very popular bloggers, Mama Laughlin and Skinny Meg (I plug them all the time, so check them out).  Mama Laughlin was always posting about her tanks from Ruffles With Love.  I checked them out on Etsy, and decided that I would order one of those shirts when I lost 20 pounds (and I did and I love it).  I had to create an Etsy account to do this, and it has lead to two more purchases.  Also, Skinny Meg posted about a sale at Abundant Heart Apparel , so of course I checked that out and ordered one of those (which I also love).  They also turned my on to Kiki La Rue, where I have order two shirts in the last two weeks (one came in today, guess what I love it).

That all being said, if you are in the market for some online shopping, you must check out these sites.  Ruffles with Love and Abundant Heart Apparel have the cutest workout tanks hands down.  Both tanks are cute, comfortable and affordable!! Plus, both shipped fast (Abundant Heart was super fast) and you can tell they take pride in their products.  If you are in the market for some totes adorable and trendy clothes head over to Kiki La Rue.  I just received my first purchase from their today, a hot pink Maddie top.  I tried it on as soon as I got home.  It is cute, comfortable, but I could have sized down (I call this fat girl syndrome, I still think I need the biggest size they have).  I also just got an email that my other shirt is on it's way...yay!  I have recently started following Becka, the owner of KLR on all social media sites, and I personally think she's pretty awesome.  "Thank you Megan" was even hand written on my invoice for my order, who does that anymore?  So basically, if you're in need of some cute, affordable, comfortable clothes from some great people and you don't want to leave you house, check out these sites, you won't be sorry you did (well, unless you're trying to save money).

Shirt from Ruffles With Love, Totally My Favorite Workout Shirt!

It's Fine, I Ran Today from Abundant Heart.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Spring Break Diary

I wish I had some fun, exciting Spring Break tale to share.  Sadly, I do not.

My spring break has been pretty uneventful.  It started off by learning Friday I had failed my portfolio and I had to redo it--by Tuesday morning at 8:00 am.  STRESSFUL times.  I decided not to worry with it until Saturday.

So, Friday I went and sang karaoke with some awesome friends.  We pretty much had the place to ourselves, so that means I sang, a lot.  However, I was actually with people that could sing, so I'm sorry I ruined your songs.

Lindsey and I.  Down 50 pounds together :)
Me and Jonathan, I really honestly LOVE this picture, of myself
I spent the rest of my weekend working on my portfolio, besides the hour I went to Michael's to watch the Walking Dead.  Monday I spent 14 hours in a chair typing.  It was torture....except for the times my sweet dog sat in my lap to help.

Such a sweet puppy
When I was finally free I went out to eat lunch and shopping with Mom, Martha, Laken and LaDonna.  I got a new bed spread, so now we are going to paint....
What color?

Wednesday, I conquered the Stair Master at the gym.  I lasted for five minutes.  I made it ten yesterday.

We had a snowstorm last night.  I also attended a spa party at Katie's.  Her house looks great and she will be recruited to help me decorate.
Spring break snowstorm....I love Mint and Skulls :)

I also got the really cute workout shirt from Ruffles With Love.  I adore it.  Check out her Etsy shop here.  I'm not getting anything by promoting, just sharing a great brand with my peeps.
TRAIN LIKE A SUPER HERO.  I already have my next one picked out!

I started taking Evening Primrose Oil last month.  I really see benefits, I'm not going into them on such a public format, but please women, call, text, email or facebook need this stuff.

Today I'm off to the Orpheum for their next season announcement.  There's supposed to be a special guest.  I hope it's Hugh Jackman (hey I girl can wish).  Have a lovely weekend.

Oh by the way I passed my portfolio. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Things I wish I Would Have Known In High School

 For some reason tonight I have been thinking about the past.  I'm not sure why, maybe because I am about to be 27, or the fact that my 10 year high school reunion is slowly approaching, or maybe because I put a picture on Instagram and my friend comment "Don't tell me that was 10 years ago," and another friend commented "We are old".  Whatever the reason I have been thinking about the past.  

While thinking about the past I realized what a spoiled, stuck up, jerk face girl I was in high school.  Granted, I had lots of friends and may have even been considered "popular" but did I really deserve all those friends or popularity.  I'm not sure.  

High school was a strange time for me, as I'm sure it was for many of you.  I was coming into my own, trying to decided who I was as a person and who I wanted to be.  I had to find myself, apart from my family and friends.  High school was a time to discover your talents, create yourself into the person you want to be, dream big, make mistakes and have fun.  I did just that, I dreamed big, discovered things about myself, took changed, made mistakes and had a blast doing it.  Luckily, I realized the importance of the moments and cherished them.  I have fond memories of my friends and my classmates and the fun we had and trouble we may have (or have not caused).  That being said, there are somethings I wish I would have known in high school.

1.  You are not as fat as you think you are.  During my junior year I lost 30 some odd pounds going to Weight Watchers.  Even then I still thought of myself as "fat".  Today, after gaining that 30 pounds back, plus about another 40, I would kill to be that size again.
2.  Boys aren't everything!  I was the poster girl for boy craziness.  I had a different crush every other week.  My time was consumed with thoughts of boys.  I never had a real boyfriend until I was in college.  If I could go back, I wouldn't worry about the opposite sex nearly as much as I did.
3.  Don't wear boy pants, ever!  I remember thinking because I was fat I did not need to wear tight girl jeans, and instead of going and trying on girl jeans and having a break down in the dressing room, I just purchased boy move genius (I'm surprised I can even dress myself now).
4.  Product is a must for curly hair.  Call me lazy or whatever, I hated putting anything in my hair and normally had a huge frizz ball or curls on top of my head.  Boy pants and frizz had, no wonder I didn't have boys lining up to date me.
5.  Tennis was not my life.  I loved to play tennis, and still do.  However I was not realistic about my abilities to play tennis.  I was good, maybe even a great high school player, but playing with ranked players now, I was not as awesome as I once thought.
6.  Temper tantrums get you nothing.  Besides emergency dental work.
7.  Spend as much time with the people you love as you can.  I suffered many great losses in high school, and witnessed my friends lose people they loved too.  Anything can happen in the blink of an eye and you will regret the time you didn't spend with your family and friends one day.
8.  A woman in good shoes is never ugly.  If the Carrie Bradshaw me of today would me the high school me of the 2000's....I would kick my own tail.  You should have seen the things I tried to pass off as shoes.

For the many things I didn't know in high school, I did learn a lot.  I learned work ethic from working at Sonic.  I learned to save my money to buy the things I wanted.  I learned the importance of friendships and being there for one another.  I learned that no matter what, your mom will always be your best friend.   If I could go back to high school again, I'm not sure if I would do anything differently, besides maybe dress better.

First Day of our Senior Year 2003

When I wasn't a frizz head in boy jeans, I was a frizz head in sparkly jeans

Look at the skinny face, gah, I thought I was huge :(  (note the frizz head)

Again I thought I was fat!  And fizz head :)


Monday, March 4, 2013

Month Two In The Books

I started going to the gym on January 3.  It was a chore and there were many other things I would rather do.  Most of those things included eating chocolate and drinking milkshakes.  However, I knew that I needed to change.  I did not like what I saw when I looked in the mirror and I did not like the way I felt.  So, I went to the gym even thought I would have rather sat on my butt, ate chocolate and done nothing.

After a while, it started to become fun.  I started looking forward to it.

In a month I lost 13.2 pounds.  I was amazed.

The thing that has amazed me more than anything else is what I can do now.  I can run, not far but I couldn't even run a little bit before. And I love going to the gym now.  I even had a breakdown last week.  After getting a cortisone shot in my foot and it wasn't getting any better I was beyond upset.  All I could think about was how much I enjoyed running and how I could do they one thing I have come to love because it hurt so bad.

However, today I started Women Can Run.  And I did it pain free.  I was so worried.  And I was worried it would be hard and I couldn't do it.  And I did.  I am so proud of myself.  It's amazing what you can do when you set your mind to it.

And the weigh in for my official two months...........  


15 more to go until my goal of 40 before May 11.  I know that I am getting to the top of the hill, but I know it's not going to be an easy way down.  I am excited for the changes I am seeing in myself and can't wait to see more!

In other news I submitted my portfolio for review.  I must make an 80% to get to do my internship course and graduate.  I would like us all to collectively cross our fingers.  

And yes the picture below is a iPhone screen shot, I'm cool like that.
 Have a great night!
The difference I see in my face makes me happy