Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Let's get some things straight

First thing's first, don't think I will type something every day, I won't.

Secondly, apparently some folks think I am not happy.  That is totally not the case.  I know I did at one point in my post last night refer to this point in my life as a "season of sadness".  I did not mean necessarily mean I am sad and you should feel sorry for me (or offer up your advice on finding a man). 

This year has sucked.  And it has nothing to do with a man.

I am content as I am.  It took me 30 years to like myself and the person I am and I will not start feeling sorry for myself again. 

Yes, there are times it would be nice to have a man.  It would be nice to have a relationship, someone to spend time with, and someone to share life with.  However, I know what I want.  I know what I don't.  And I know what I will not settle for.

I will not settle for less than what I want or less than what I deserve.  I would rather be alone and unhappy than in a relationship and miserable. 

I hate to see friends (and even people I don't consider friends) jumping from relationship to relationship.  In my humble opinion that is a weak person.  I know that isn't a popular opinion (and one that might offend someone reading this. Sorry not sorry), but I believe this.

I spend a lot of years jumping in and out of relationships in my early 20's.  I dated a lot as well.  The seasons of singleness where the times I grew and learned about myself.  Those are the times I found out who I was and what I wanted.

So please, dear friends, strangers and whoever you are.... please don't feel sorry for me.  Please do not think I am a sad, hopeless, single girl. 

I am a happy, well adjusted, slightly crazy, single girl.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Hello, It's me!

Hey!  Remember me?  It's just been a year or two.  I guess I felt like I ran out of things to say.  Or maybe I thought I wasn't interesting.  Then I realized tonight, I missed typing my feelings for the world (or the three people that read my thoughts).

Let's see, what has happened....

Nothing interesting I'm sure.

I'm 30, that's new.

I'm single, that's not.

I'm brunette again, but I guess the blog word didn't see the blonde. 

I gained all the weight I lost back, so there's that.

I have been struggling lately, with just about everything.  Mostly, I am on the single struggle bus.  I have a bus pass and keep chugging along.

I guess at this time of year it gets worse; everyone is getting engaged, announcing the are expecting, or starting new relationships.  And while I can rejoice with my friends in their seasons of happiness, I can't help but mourn my season of sadness.  Sometimes the season seems to drag on.

I guess what gets me so down is watching people go from relationship to relationship, man to man, woman to woman, and I'm still here.. Still alone.  Friends of mine are on their second and third marriages, and I can't get a third date.  (Disclaimer, I want my first marriage to be my only marriage)

I have a lot to offer.  Or at least I think I do.  I also have some strong convictions that a man will not change.

I see these people saying I love you after 5 minutes, moving in together after a few weeks, introducing their significant other to their children after a few dates.  I just can't.  I can't.  How can you know a person well enough for all of that after a few weeks?

Maybe that's why I am 30 and single. 

Maybe that's not what a man is looking for.

Maybe being a woman who knows what she wants isn't desirable. 

I'm not sure.  However, I know that I will not change this for anyone.

Also, a problem I have run into is the lack of interesting men.  I'm not sure if it's my location that is suffering from lack of men or if it is a world wide epidemic.  I hope to find out soon.

In the mean time, I'll be here, living and loving and struggling on.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Heartbreak, Healing and other H words.

Have you ever had the air knocked out of you?

I remember when I was in elementary school we had this jungle gym type of structure that was shaped like a school bus.  You could climb in through a hole to look like a door and crawl your way to the back and slide down a pole.  There were all sorts of beams and the more coordinated children would do flips off of the poles.  I was not one of the more coordinated children, but one day I decided I wanted to flip over the bar.  I sat on it, dangled upside down, and let go.  Instead of gracefully landing on my feet like everyone else, I landed flat on my back.  I had the breath knocked out of me.  Being a small child, this freaked me out.

Years later as a teenager, I decided to try to perform the same tasks off of a porch swing.  To the same result, I landed on my back finding it hard to breathe.

Today, I feel much of the same sensation.  The air is knocked out of me and it's hard to breathe. 

I guess it's sad that I'm dang near thirty and I'm just now experiencing heartbreak for the very first time.  I thought I had been in love before, apparently I was wrong.  Or maybe it gets worse with age.  Who knows?  All I know that this is something I have never felt before and quite honestly would never like to feel again.

I have cried my fair share over breakups, but this is a whole different animal.

I'm not sure how people cope, I'm apparently doing a crappy job at it.

I can't let go, I'm afraid that once I do, I will never be able to get him back.  I'm quite sure I never will anyway.

All and all, this sucks. 

How am I supposed to pretend like I'm ok with this?

Sunday, June 15, 2014

100 Days Of Happy

Hello world!

So I have been a slacker.  My bad.

I guess it's a good thing nobody reads this crap.

Ok, so.  Point of this post.  I'll get to that now, I suppose.

There's this challenge going around the social media world, 100 Happy Days.  The point is that people suck at being happy and this is a little experiment to see if people can find one thing every day that makes them happy. And over 100 days everything is supposed to be rainbows, butterflies, unicorns and glitter.  I am paraphrasing of course. According to their website, 71% of the people that have started this challenge have quit, saying that they don't have time. Apparently we live in a culture where we don't have time to be happy. This concerns me. However, we all know I am not the happiest person.  Actually, currently I am not happy at all.

Well, if we are being honest with each other it goes deeper than not being happy.   Hurt, angry, enraged, upset, aching, pissed, confused. Yeah those sum up my feelings a think.  I guess in general "unhappy" could cover it.

Anyways, I went to and registered for this challenge.  You can pick your social media format, Instagram, Facebook, or twitter. I picked Instagram.  You can also pick your own hashtag. I though about #thisisstupid but went with the generic #100HappyDays.

I don't think doing this challenge is going to me into a ray of sunshine, but maybe by taking the time to find something every day that makes me happy, maybe at least ill smile more. And maybe I'll find a way to make myself happy instead of relying on someone else.

Anyways, if you are reading this, first I thank you for taking tome to read my rumblings, and secondly, I challenge you to 100 Happy Days.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

New Year... New Me

First off, I am typing this on my iPad and its terrible.  My desktop is being a punk and my laptop is too.


One year ago today I started going to the gym. It has been 365 days of exercising, clean eating, and struggling.

I have put my healthy habits aside for the holidays. I decided that I had deprived myself all year and I wasn't going to do that during the holidays. I said that I knew I would gain weight, and I'd be ok with it as long as it was less an 10 pounds.

I went to the gym for the first time in a while today. I weighed before I got started. I gained weight. It was less than ten pounds, but I was not ok with it.

I worked hard to get that weight off and carelessly put it back on. I did realize that I probably would have but on that weight anyway drying the holidays (you know like if I didn't lose the weight) and it would be a lot worse.

I don't believe in Resolutions. They always fall apart.  I believe in goals. I do have goals for 2014. Here are some of my goals.  I am sure they will change throughout the year, but as of today here they are.

*Lose 50 pounds
*Do a half marathon
*Complete more 5Ks
*Exercise 3-5 times a week
*Save money.

I know that's not an extensive list or anything, but that's the five important things to me right now. It helps me be accountable sharing them

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013 Round Up

Over the last few years I have done a month by month breakdown of my year. I know no one else probably enjoys it, but I do.  I'm going to try to limit it two 3-5 things a month.

Started going to the gym
Saw Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line in Southaven with Summer and Katie.
Met Florida Georgia Line

Saw Mary Poppins

Started Women Can Run
Went tomNashville (was supposed to see Lady Gaga but she canceled)
Visited Tiffany's and got me a pretty
Went on one of my two trips to Josie's
Had a snowy Spring Break

Made my only trip to the Memphis zoo
Celebrated my 27th birthday.
Went to a Scottish Festival with Katie.
Went to Nashville to see Gary Allan at the Ryman. I MET GARY ALLAN. We had breakfast at The Pancake Pantry, shopped, went to Johnny and June's graves and found out where Gary Allan lives.

Ran in my first 5K
Graduated with my Masters
Katie and I took are second annual Hardy trip

Went to the Opry and Fan Fair during CMA Fest week. Saw Carrie Underwood, Charlie Pride, and Jerrod Niemann.  Met Mark Wills and Jason Thompson.
Went to the beach :). Got a massive sunburn (my lip swelled) and a henna tattoo

Reconnected with some old friends, we now see each other once a month
Saw Gary Allan in Tunica
Did a Glow in the Dark 5K

Went to St. Louis.  Saw the Backstreet Boys in concert with Katie. Stayed in the same hotel as Pauly D.
Started my first year as a second grade teacher
Went to Nashville, again

Had a root canal :(
Saw Flashdance
Discovered How I Meet Your Mother

Saw Buddy Holly
Did the Race for the Cure in Little Rock. My mom is a 16 year breast cancer survivor and just plain awesome.

Saw Joe Nichols at Fall on Beale
Black Friday Shopped with mom and Michael

Forced to cancel my Nashville trip due to the white death
Went to hot yoga
Zoo lights

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Miss Megan's Favorite Things

I blogged about some of my favorite things before, but it kind wasn't a good blog and I quit after a few things, so I thought I'd do it again.  If I was rich, or had a super famous blog I'd give something away.  But I am neither rich or a famous blogger, so therefore you can just read about my favorite things and maybe purchase them for yourself.  Trust me, I think they are awesome or I wouldn't be wasting my time telling you about them.

Julep Deep Clean 

This is my newest find.  I got it in my Julep Maven box (I'll get to that in a second).  This sells for $40.00 on their website. This is an excellent face cleaner.  It cleans all the make up off your face, literally.  It smells a little bit like furniture polish, but I actually kind of like it.

Back to the Julep Maven box, if you have 19.99 laying around every month this is a good investment.  You take a short quiz, they tell you what your style profile is.  Every month they send you a box with two nail polish colors (which retail $14 each) and some other type of goodies (one month I got a foot scrub, one month I got moisturizer, I got the Deep Clean last month, and an eye shadow palette this month).  You can choose to skip months, and you can customize your box.  You just have to remember to it around the 20th of each month.

Oh and guess what....there's a FREE CODE you can use to get your first box free!  So really check out their site.

Emi Jay Hair Ties (Or like hair ties)

This are literally the best!  They are very cute, first off.  You can wear them on  your wrist like a bracelet, which for someone that has to have a ponytail holder on their arm to survive, that is important.  Plus, the DO NOT leave a crease in my hair.  Also important as I pull my hair up 1,000,000 times a day.  You can also search these on eBay and get them pretty cheap.

 Eyes Lips And Face (E.L.F.) concealer and highlighter

This is my go to beauty product.  Seriously.  The best thing ever.  Seriously.  SERIOUSLY!!!!  You can get it at Target or from their website.  He is a concealer, and a good one and it says "highlighter".  What I do is use the concealer under my eyes and on unsightly blemishes (you know I don't get those often...ha).  Then I put two dots of the highlighter under my eyes, too, to give it a "pop".  But my favorite use is using the "highlighter" (the white stuff) as an eyeshadow primer.  It gives your eyeshadow a deeper hue, and it keeps it on ALL DAY.. ALL DAY PEOPLE!  ALL DAY!  Would you like to know the best part?  The very best part?  IT ONLY COST $3.00!!!  YES $3.00!  Also, you will find other fantastic finds from ELF.  I used their mineral make-up for a while, and it is comparable to Bare Minerals. 

Dry Shampoo

Dry shampoo has become my new BFF.  If you've never tried it, you need to.  This is the brand I have been buying lately mostly because it's what Wal-Mart has in stock.  Dry shampoo just gives your hair a clean feel with out washing it and drying it.  Thanks to a pin I found on Pinterest, I found out how to actually use it.  Spray it in your hair, rub it in like you would if you were shampooing you hair, let it dry while you apply your make up and then brush it out.  Easy, peasy!

Jergen's Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer

I used this every other day.  It actually works.  I use both the face one and the body.  It smells devine and since it's daily you're not all streaky.

How I Met Your Mother

Seriously, how did I never watch this show?  How did I miss it?  Seriously.  It's LEGENDARY.  So, so, so, so SO funny!  I literally laugh out loud, every single episode.  Like I cackle.  I'm so very sad that I didn't know anything about this until this fall.  If you haven't watched....WATCH IT NOW!!!

I hope that I have given you some good advice on some of my favorite things.  I hope you will at least give of them a try.  If you must pick only one...go with How I Met Your Mother!

PS.  The other day I told of the white death heading our way.  Well it has ruined my Nashville plans, but I don't have to work tomorrow, so no alarm.  Take the good with the bad, huh?