Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Backlash

Apparently I need to make some clarifications.

1.  I am an open book.  Always have been.  I tell it how it is.  I am not shy.  I don't easily get embarrassed.  I started writing this blog for the fun of it.  I didn't even publish or share most of it for a long time.  I shared my first post and got lots of positive feedback from my friends and family.  Most of the people told me that loved that I was honest and wasn't afraid to be myself, that's something I am proud of.

2.  Something else I am proud of is that fact I do have a relationship with God.  We're tight.  I know there is someone out there for me.  I know it will all be in His timing.  Funny things seem to happen to me when I am single and dating so I thought I would share those thoughts and feelings.  It doesn't mean I'm depressed, need therapy, or dont' believe in God and His plan for me.

3.  When I wanted to start blogging, the advice on blogging said to blog about what you know (how many times can you use the word blog in one sentence?).  I don't know how to cook, clean, or do anything crafty.  I do know how to make people laugh.  I do know how to pick the wrong men, and I do know how to date (at least I think).  Even if no one else finds this little piece of my blog land entertaining I do.

4.  I will not apologize for who I am.  This is me.  What you see is what you get.  You can find the X button if you don't like it.

I promise I am ok with being single.  It's like everything else in life.  It has it's ups and downs.  I am not writing this to get a pity party from the world.  I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!
I get to do things that the people that are my age with husbands and kids don't get to do.  And I have had them tell me that they get just as jealous of my life as I do by theirs.  I do not wish for you to feel sorry for me or for you to think I feel sorry for myself.  I do not.  I know my time will come.  I am content with waiting until it happens.

I hope you all have a lovely day.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Single and Fabulous Once Again

I find myself single once again, although I never quite lost my fabulous-ness.  The breakup was something that needed to happen, and while I can't say that it didn't hurt, I am ok with it at this point.   But, I have come to realize that for most of my adult life, I have been in a relationship.  I guess that's why I find being single so dang hard now.  Granted, I spent my teenage years suffering through the single stages, but since the ripe old age of 21 I have spent most of my days committed to another individual (not counting the summers I took off from boyfriend #1).  The longest period I have been single since 2007 is a whooping six months.  In the week since I have been single it hasn't taken me very long to remember all the reasons I hate being single.  For instance the everybody's in love be me feeling.  I love my friends and coworkers to pieces but I get tired of feeling like the only person that is alone.  I have some very wonderful single friends that I am very thankful for, don't get me wrong, but when you see all your high school friends married with children, it gets depressing.  Also, when you are the only single person at your work, it gets a little upsetting as well.  Another feeling I hate is worrying.  I already find myself on the prowl and worrying.  I have a tendacy to look too much into things as it, and now, with my new found "freedom" I find myself worried about getting text from "someone".  I read too much into what these messages mean.  Obviously when I get a "Good Morning (insert nickname here)" I can't help but think he is thinking about me, but what if he's just being nice?  I hate the way my mood changes depending on the way he responds.  I know I shouldn't place so much into it, but I do and I can't help it.  I know I can't be the only one.  I feel like now I need to change myself to find a man.  I mean, I am very aware that I am hard to handle.  I'm high maintaince, loud, overbarring, demanding, and I pretty much tell it like it is, and that's on my good days.  How can I expect someone to want to jump into a relationship with that.
However, for as much "bad" that comes with being single, there is just as much good.  I have enjoyed a spring break not having to answer to anyone.  I didn't have to call to check in and let someone know what I was doing every second that I was gone.  I have gotten to go out at night with my friends.  I have gotten to reconnect with some friends and make some new ones, all in one week.  I am thankful for that.  Although I find this a burden sometimes, I know it's my lot in life, not forever, just for right now.  So while I have this lot, I'm going to do that best I can with it.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Single on Spring Break

This year I planned a getaway to St. Louis for Spring Break.  Katie, Andi, and Lindsay joined me on this trip.  I found myself single three days before we left, so I was prepared to have a wonderful time.  I was single and ready to mingle.  We left out early Monday morning.  The ride down there was interesting to say the least.  Katie tried to make me use the bathroom at a barn, (it was a convenience store shaped like a barn) but took me to McDonald's instead.  When we got to St. Louis we went to the brewery, which Katie declared smells like beer.  We had a good time at the brewery and then ventured to St. Louis Mills to shop.  After a little shopping we went to the NASCAR SpeedPark for some Go-Kart racing.  I won.  I lapped Katie about 20 times.  I hit her once and she was not happy about it.  After that, we went to check in.  That was an experience in itself.  They had my name down wrong.  Apparently I am with Thomas Green.  We got the reservation fixed (or so we thought) and got ready to go to dinner.  At dinner we realized St. Louis has the worst service of any place I have ever been to.  The next day we decided to take public transportation to the zoo.  We survived and enjoyed a day at the zoo.  We got to see lots of animals, but no hippos.  I was highly upset.  There is so much more I could say about this trip, but I have to get ready to go to the Orpheum.  Let's just end it by saying I am so thankful for my friends.