Skip to main content

Why I Wanted To Lose Weight

I posted in January, when I decided to do this whole lifestyle change on why I did.  You can look at the here. 
But I feel like I need to explain myself better.

I have been overweight most of my life and I have not liked my body or myself for a very long time.  Being the fat girl I always felt like I had to try harder to fit in.  That was exhausting.  I felt since I couldn't be the skinniest or prettiest girl in the room I would be the funniest, loudest and have the best shoes.  I think because I was loud, funny, well dressed, bubbly, and talkative people assumed I was happy.  That was the complete opposite.

I have gone through phases where I have dieted and exercised since I was in high school.  During this time I may have lost 5-20 pounds but nothing ever changed.  I would still do what I want and eat what I want and if i missed the gym a couple of days in a row, who cared.

At the the beginning of this year I was at my lowest point in the self-esteem department.  When Lindsey asked me to go to the gym I decided to go with her, for whatever reason I don't really know.  After going two days with her, I joined the gym myself.  After joining the gym I started zumba again, I joined a running clinic and began eating correctly.  I have noticed that with each day, each accomplishment my self esteem started getting better.  I have lost 2 dress size and 31 pounds.

Weigh loss is more than just a physical journey, way more.  It is more mental than anything.  There are so many obstacles that you have to overcome, and most of those obstacles are in your mind.  There are days when I don't want to go the gym.  There are days when I don't do to anything.  There are days when I just want to set and eat some ice cream and French fries (actually that's most days).  But, I have to remember that anything worthwhile is not going to be easy.  I have to keep on, keeping on.   No matter how hard it is, no matter how much I don't want to give up, no matter how bad it hurts.

I am not losing weight, I'm getting rid of it--I don't want to find it again.  I am not losing weight, I am gaining confidence.  I am not losing weight I am becoming healthier.

Same outfit, 30 pounds difference.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Jeans

No matter how stores try to candy coat it, there is a certain stigma around the plus size section of stores.  They can call it curvy or misses or whatever, but we all know what it is.  There is an imaginary line in the middle of the store where no one wants to cross.  At least that's how I feel about it.  I'm sure the girls on the "regular" side could careless, or the workers for that matter, but I always feel self conscious when shopping on the side of the store.  Sure, you get used to it and laugh when you're with your skinny friends and say "I'll be over on the big girl side" and saunter on your way to the plus size section.  While you began to search through the racks on your side, you secretly long to be on the other side of the store, where there is double, sometimes triple the selection of clothes.  You find something, take it back to the dressing room to try it on.  It doesn't look right, it's too tight, it's not what you thought ...
2 comments
Read more

Better

Last year during a book study at school we were reading The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon.  One of our assignments during our study was to pick one word for our year which is also based on a book, My One Word by Mike Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen. Long story short, instead of making a resolution for the New Year.  You pick a word.  If you go here  you can read about that. Basically, here is a simple three step introduction. Step One:  Determine the kind of person you want to be. Step Two:  Identify the characteristics of that person. Step Three:  Pick a word. Last year, I picked the word consistent. I felt that I did a good job being consistent. I started thinking about what word I wanted to use for 2019.  I have been thinking for a few weeks.  I have still been thinking about the person I want to be this year, and for every year for that matter.  I have thought about those characteristics of that person.  And today, on th...
2 comments
Read more

CMA Fest Weekend

I am a big country music fan.  Plus I'm a big fan of live music.  Also I am a huge fan of Music City.  So it's a no brainer that CMA Fest is one of my favorite things on the planet. I feel in love with CMA Fest last year when I went.  It was amazing. This year I wasn't sure I was getting to go.  I was a little bummed. However, by pure accident I ordered tickets for the Opry to see Carrie Underwood on Friday June 7.  I didn't realize that it was CMA Fest weekend until I tried to book a hotel and there were not hotels in Nashville.  Oops. So I booked a hotel in Brentwood and decided to make the most out of my happy mistake!  So Friday, we rolled into down in a ran storm and found our hotel.  We changed clothes and got ready then headed out to the Opry.  We went to Orpy Mills Mall first, I hit up the Vera Bradley Outlet and got some sweet deals. Then we went to the Opry.  It was a great show, I did miss Little Jimmy Dickens...
Post a Comment
Read more