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Single and Fabulous Once Again

I find myself single once again, although I never quite lost my fabulous-ness.  The breakup was something that needed to happen, and while I can't say that it didn't hurt, I am ok with it at this point.   But, I have come to realize that for most of my adult life, I have been in a relationship.  I guess that's why I find being single so dang hard now.  Granted, I spent my teenage years suffering through the single stages, but since the ripe old age of 21 I have spent most of my days committed to another individual (not counting the summers I took off from boyfriend #1).  The longest period I have been single since 2007 is a whooping six months.  In the week since I have been single it hasn't taken me very long to remember all the reasons I hate being single.  For instance the everybody's in love be me feeling.  I love my friends and coworkers to pieces but I get tired of feeling like the only person that is alone.  I have some very wonderful single friends that I am very thankful for, don't get me wrong, but when you see all your high school friends married with children, it gets depressing.  Also, when you are the only single person at your work, it gets a little upsetting as well.  Another feeling I hate is worrying.  I already find myself on the prowl and worrying.  I have a tendacy to look too much into things as it, and now, with my new found "freedom" I find myself worried about getting text from "someone".  I read too much into what these messages mean.  Obviously when I get a "Good Morning (insert nickname here)" I can't help but think he is thinking about me, but what if he's just being nice?  I hate the way my mood changes depending on the way he responds.  I know I shouldn't place so much into it, but I do and I can't help it.  I know I can't be the only one.  I feel like now I need to change myself to find a man.  I mean, I am very aware that I am hard to handle.  I'm high maintaince, loud, overbarring, demanding, and I pretty much tell it like it is, and that's on my good days.  How can I expect someone to want to jump into a relationship with that.
However, for as much "bad" that comes with being single, there is just as much good.  I have enjoyed a spring break not having to answer to anyone.  I didn't have to call to check in and let someone know what I was doing every second that I was gone.  I have gotten to go out at night with my friends.  I have gotten to reconnect with some friends and make some new ones, all in one week.  I am thankful for that.  Although I find this a burden sometimes, I know it's my lot in life, not forever, just for right now.  So while I have this lot, I'm going to do that best I can with it.

Comments

  1. u really look fab HONEY! especially in your display picture ^^ btw, good luck with your blog !! come visit mine and we should totally follow each other :D

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